A punch in the gut

I'm not being clever with my headline ... that actually happened. Another girl hit Molly in the stomach earlier this month on a field trip and it has revealed a much bigger problem that Molly is having at school. One of her best "friends" has been tormenting her for most of the year. I have hesitated to use the b-word (bullying) because it is so loaded these days and people are sensitive about it. But Molly's teacher used the word on the phone today because that's what's happening.

I won't get into all of the details, but we knew that this girl had been competing with Molly and putting her down for a little while. What we learned more recently is that she has been kicking her under the table and giving her rough hugs around the neck that hurt and she won't stop when Molly says to stop. She has also been telling Molly not to work on her math work at school if she gets too far ahead. And she has been taking things from Molly's backpack (including a tooth that Molly lost at school ... gross).

I've been encouraging Molly to play with other kids at school, but apparently, whenever she tries to do that, her 2 friends from daycare (including this girl) follow Molly around and harass her and the other kids until Molly just gives in and plays with the daycare crew. 

Basically, it's just the worst. Molly has been so stressed out lately and has started saying for the first time ever that she doesn't want to go to school. The last time they had a half day, she was so happy because it meant that there was no recess and she didn't have to worry about who she was going to play with. 

The good thing is, the school year is almost over and we finally have the full (or closer to full) picture of what has been happening. The teacher is going to keep a close eye on everything over the next few weeks and is also recommending that Molly be assigned to a different class than this girl in 2nd grade.

As much as I hate to do it, we're also going to have to switch her into a different daycare next year. She'll never get out of this "friendship" as long as they have 3 hours to spend together after school every day. 

The teacher also recommended that we schedule as many playdates with other kids as we can over the summer once Molly is out from under the watchful eye of her oppressor. She said Molly is friends with everyone in the class and it is a shame that she's been held back from playing with them at recess. The teacher didn't know that part of the story, or about the violence, until recently. They have a different set of "supervisors" out on the playground for recess and the kicking has been happening at daycare "whenever the adults aren't around" according to Molly. 

I feel like this year has kind of been a lost opportunity for her - socially for sure and probably also academically. But it is what it is! We have a plan. We know what's going on. I bought a book (Little Girls Can Be Mean ... sounds appropriate, right?). And best of all, summer is almost here. I blocked off a chunk of weekends on the calendar to keep open for playdates, pool, and beach time. Hopefully the next 3 months will make up for any stress she had to go through last year!

Still a happy kid, even with all of this drama going on :)