Left out

The other night, as I was tucking Molly in her bed, she told me she was feeling left out at school. It surprised me a little bit to hear her say that because whenever I pick her up, she's always surrounded by a big group of friends.

She said she had plans to play with a certain friend at recess who ended up ditching her for someone else. I asked why she didn't just play with them, or play with one of her other friends instead, and she started naming off who was best friends with who. It sounds like a lot of girls in the class have paired up. When Molly told me she was "still looking" for her best friend, it felt like my heart broke into a million pieces. And then it broke again when Jason told me two girls gave Molly the cold shoulder the other morning. 

Of course I started worrying that it was my fault for not setting up enough playdates or befriending more of the moms. I immediately ran to the computer to set up something for Friday when I knew I'd be working from home. When I told Molly she was going to have a friend come over to our house, her first question was, "Did she say she wanted to?" 

I can help Molly feel better by telling her stories about times when I felt left out. I can encourage her to take a risk and play with someone new. I can rearrange my schedule and try to have more kids over to our house after school. But I can't fix this for her. And I know it won't be the last time she feels left out either.

Luckily, in Kindergarten, the friend stuff changes by the day and I think things are already better. Molly was racing around the gym after school today with one of the girls who had given her the cold shoulder earlier in the week, and she was full of stories about building snowmen with some of her other friends during recess. It seems she has her confidence back. As much as it hurts to see her feeling left out, I know it's also good for her to learn how to handle it. Me too.